A Winner is you! entry: Deadpool
by Aelsthla-Mental
Summary: The wise cracking, mentally and physically scarred Deadpool has joined a tournament for fighters everywhere! Will he win it? Maybe, will he make us laugh? Unless the writer is horrible, Definitely!
1. Chapter 1

_**Here he is, Deadpool, the other person that I am using for the tournament**_

_**dunno who Deadpool is? look him up on the below website.**_

_**Disclaimer (again): I do not own much in this story, only the story (partly, except that it comes from the "A Winnder is You!", but i write it at least, but the tournament was not my idea, it was avatarjk137). There is still time if you want to join it! deadline is April 1st (NOT an April fools joke, or so avatar says!) all you have to do is join the forum and ask avatarjk137, rules and stuff are also on the "A Winner is You!" forum. Oh yeah, the disclaimer, I don't own many of the characters, except maybe a few random mercenaries, and the blue cloaked figure who will NEVER appear again.**_

_**Well, this is how Deadpool entered, so read on if you want.**_

* * *

Deadpool was lost, and he knew it. 

Not that he really cared; it gave him time to contemplate life, in his own special way.

'I'm hungry, I want potatoes.'

Deadpool usually didn't like potatoes, but he was always changing.

He had just been kicked out of the "Hell house", the mercenary hang-out, well, perhaps 'kicked out' wasn't quite the right word…

_((1 day ago))_

Deadpool was currently sitting on a bar stool drinking, he always asked for a 'whatever' drink. Today however, he noticed that all of the mercenaries seemed to be surrounding him.

'Hey guys, whats up?' he said cheerfully.

All of them were silent, and then one of them, the owner Patch, a shrewd businessman, said in a rough voice.

'Deadpool, the guys here don't really like to see you around, your making a mockery of us, the only one here who was even close to your skill was T-ray, and you killed him. Oh, and you never paid the bill for the damage you caused here, or for your drinks.'

Deadpool seemed to give them a grin 'Oh, come on guys, your like a family to me! A bit of jealousy won't make you get rid of me, will it?'

'JEALOUSY?' Patch roared. 'First one to get Deadpool's head wins a free drink!'

The Mercenaries started edging closer, all grinning and cracking their knuckles.

Deadpool sighed and stood up 'guys, I've kicked most of your butts before, I know, I counted.' He moved into an exaggerated karate position 'so, bring it on!'

They all charged into the center.

Deadpool swung his swords around, that alone was enough to knock a few mercenaries out of the fight, then he leap up and kicked two in the face, they went down like stones.

After that he did a summersault and landed outside the circle of mercenaries.

Deadpool put his swords back into his sheaths. '_If I want to be a hero, I can't kill them'_

The mercenaries charged, one of them had some sort of electric gun, which he fired.

The blast hit Deadpool and he was thrown back.

'_then again, what the heroes don't know won't hurt them.'_

Deadpool drew his swords and side-stepped.

Some of the mercenaries lunged at him, only to be stopped rather unpleasantly by impaling themselves onto Deadpool's swords.

The Mercenary with the electric gun fired, but this time Deadpool was ready, he leapt above, and his sword went right into the arm with the gun, the mercenary howled in pain, the Deadpool silenced him with a quick punch to the head.

The Mercenaries had managed to surround him again. Deadpool grinned.

'Oops, I dropped something.' With that, he leapt above them, leaving an explosive.

BOOM

All but one of the mercenaries was down for the count, Patch simply watched. The one left was holding a blade. They were on opposite sides of the room.

The Mercenary let out a battle cry and charged at his opponent.

'I don't have time for this' Deadpool muttered. Deadpool sheathed a sword, got out his gun, and fired twice.

The first shot hit the mercenary's sword arm; the second hit the mercenary's chest, but missed his heart. Somehow, the mercenary was conscious long enough to say 'That's not fair' before falling to the ground.

Patch looked at all the bodies, some were moving, others weren't, it was difficult to tell if anyone had died. He looked at the hole made by the explosive, and there was a lot of blood too.

'You're still not allowed here anymore' Patch stated.

'Damn' Deadpool muttered.

With that, Deadpool left the room, being careful to tread on all the bodies as he went.

_((Present))_

Deadpool sighed 'A pity and I hadn't tried everything on the menu yet. Wonder what a "Chocolate mousse" is. Almost a pity I can't die, or I would have been scared, isn't that right, my dear readers? Dating death did have it's advantages. as JAROCK would know...'

He had considered going straight back to the Deadhut, but realized that they had run out of food yesterday, he should know, he impaled Weasel's arm for the last scrap.

'He'll get over it, just like those mercenaries, not like it hasn't happened before! They will be begging for my jokes!'

Deadpool stopped at the side of a road. A large wind was blowing 'Then again… What to do while I wait…'

He didn't know of any missions that were on before he left, perhaps a food plaza? Deadpool checked for pockets in his suit and sighed. 'No money.' His face brightened. 'Free food does exist, or I could enter a tournament for food.'

A sheet of paper, floating in the breeze, went on his face.

Deadpool grabbed it, the read it, it said:

_Model wanted, must be good looking, have a great personality, and willing to put inject many toxins into themselves for a LOT of money._

Deadpool chucked it away 'I may have all those qualities, but it's just not worth it.'

Another piece of paper headed towards him, Deadpool snatched it from the air, it said:

_Chef wanted, must be a good cook, and willing to work for little pay, but much credentials._

Deadpool recalled the last time he cooked, it was when he went back in time, in London, and it didn't really go so well…

Just as Deadpool chucked the piece of paper to the wind, another one came, Deadpool read it.

_Sewage cleaner wanted, must be ready to get dirty._

'YES, just what I always wanted!' Deadpool yelled

Then one last piece of paper came, he read it.

_Skilled fighter wanted for smashing tournament, will be rewarded with their hearts desire and money._

'…that sounds marginally better then sewage cleaning.' Deadpool shrugged 'ok, I'm in. I even get to prove to the world how powerful a fighter I am as an added bonus.'

He walked off, reading the rest of the paper.

'Go to 12 nonexistent road, Utopia' he read. 'Where is that I wonder.'

WHAM!

Deadpool rammed right into a door that seemed to appear from nowhere, it said "tournament inside" in big, bright red letters.

'Wow…' Deadpool said in awe. 'Well, I guess I better go in'

He was about to turn the knob, when a thought struck him.

'I wonder where those papers come from?' he thought.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the street.

A massive fan was blowing through the street. And a strange, blue cloaked man was throwing papers shouting 'SANITY IS OVERRATED!'

Deadpool did not hear this, but if he did, he probably would have assisted the man.

Back to our mentally unstable hero

Deadpool opened the door, and looked at what was beyond in wonder.

It was an elevator.

Deadpool stepped inside.

The elevator door closed, and seemed to glow, and it started moving.

The elevator music was annoying, as it always was. But Deadpool was still looking around the elevator in awe.

Well, perhaps not the elevator, as it was transparent. But, through the glass, you could see the universe; he could see stars close up, planets, and even an occasional satellite.

What Deadpool saw would have given an astronomer a heart attack from envy. And what did Deadpool say?

'Man… I really want a Milky Way chocolate.'

That would be enough to send most astronomers into a strange delusional state where they would eat their left sock, worship the other sock, run around chanting 'The World is made of spring beans' while sucking their right knee. Eventually the delusion would evolve into its ultimate state, making them go on a rampage destroying every singly two minute noodles they could find.

Or, at least, that's what I've heard from a VERY reliable source… Lucky no astronomers were around, hey?

Eventually the lift took him to a rather large mall.

The room was about one hundred feet in diameter, with ten-foot-wide balconies on the rim. The balconies formed a giant spiral going up to the massive and awe-inspiring domed ceiling, with multiple large gates leading to the eight wings of the mall on each story. A half-dozen transparent elevators lined the inside of the balconies, providing a quicker method of travel for the rushed or lazy. Beautiful fountains, comfortable benches, and carefully chosen foliage decorated the floor of the room, along with an undecorated central stage, which the contestants clustered along one or two edges of. Some sat on the edge of the stage, talking down to the others and enjoying the perceived height difference granted by a simple four-foot ledge.

Deadpool looked around lazily.

'I don't know, my Deadhut is pretty nice too.'

His Deadhut was a shack, and comparing it to this place was like comparing a rat hole to a large, magnificent mansion (although, some may say that they prefer the rat hole, then good for you).

Deadpool wasted no time looking around. The fighters here were not all human, definitely. And they all seemed to have one thing in common, determination.

'Wow, tough competition, but I have one thing they don't have.' Deadpool checked his pockets, and sighed dramatically.

'Ok, I lost it; this is going to be tough.'

Then, the crowd hushed, and the Host of the tournament came onto the stage.

'_He is made of chocolate? I wonder if he would notice a missing finger._

Deadpool half listened to the rules, but when the words "the food courts are unmanned, but fully stocked. Feel free to take whatever you like from them" he immediately rushed towards food, devouring it.

'_Fighting and free food? This is heaven.'_ Then Deadpool recalled that the tournament was being hosted by a demon

'_Well, it's nice'_ he thought.

After devouring food, he sat down, and said 'bring it on!'

* * *

_**If somehow you have taken offense from part of this story, my apologies**_

_**Don't know who Deadpool is? see the site below**_

_**oh, no flamers!**_

_**http://en.**_


	2. R1 Deadpool vs Scorpion

_**Here it is, round one (if i win, that is) of Deadpool's battles!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, or half the lines he uses (i just 'borrowed' him)! And i don't own Scorpion either, or Death by Chocolate.**_

* * *

**Deadpool vs Scorpion**

'It is time for round one!' Death by Chocolate announced. With that, he started saying all there names, occasionally throwing in a snide comment.

Eventually, he said 'Deadpool vs Scorpion, a battle of ninjas. That battle may end up being half as sneaky as me! Maybe, probably not though.'

With that, Deadpool stopped gorging food 'awesome, I get to fight in a food court!'

Everyone moved out to go to their respective fight. Except a ninja wearing black and yellow garbs, who remained where he was. He bore two swords on his back and a kunai attached to a rope tied to his belt.

DbC remained too, watching the two fighters. A smile on his lips, you could tell the fighting was what he loved.

Deadpool stared at this warrior with interest.

'Are you my daddy?' He asked. 'He looked kinda like you, except he was a respected member of society.'

Scorpion growled.

'Do I HAVE to battle this guy?' Scorpion turned towards Death by Chocolate. 'This guy is a bit childish, isn't he? And I doubt he has a concept of honor.'

Death by Chocolate shrugged. 'You get what you're given; consider yourself lucky that you get an easy opponent.'

'Yeah, well, I would prefer a CHALLENGE.'

'Hem hem.' A voice said behind Scorpion. He turned around 'What is it.' Scorpion yelled.

'Could you pick up that egg for me?' Deadpool asked in a childish voice.

'What egg' Scorpion looked down and saw a grenade next to him. 'Oh, son of a…'

BOOM!

Deadpool teleported back just as the grenade detonated.

'Well, that was easy. Who is for round two?' Deadpool said cheerfully.

'Ha ha… very funny.'

Deadpool looked, the smoke cleared, revealing a very much alive Scorpion.

'That tickled. Now it's my turn.'

Scorpion took a step forward, Deadpool took a step back.

'Uuhh, sit boy!' Deadpool said, sounding like Kagome.

'GET OVER HERE!' Scorpion shouted. He threw a dart and it stabbed right into Deadpool.

'What was that suppose to do?' Deadpool looked at the dart. 'It doesn't hurt much, and if you're trying to poison me, it won't work.' It was then that he noticed the rope connected to the dart. 'Can't I catch a break, or at least that rope break?'

Scorpion grinned. And with that he yanked.

Deadpool was pulled towards Scorpion, Scorpion's fist awaited. then came the in eventful collision of Deadpool ramming into Scorpion's fist at a decent speed.

'Not bad.' Deadpool grinned. 'But can you do this?' With that, Deadpool ripped out the dart, teleported behind Scorpion, and slashed him with his sword.

Scorpion didn't bother to look back, he chuckled. 'Actually, I can'

With that, Scorpion teleported behind him. 'Only with one difference.' Scorpion punched Deadpool, who burst into flames.

'That's hot!' Deadpool shouted. 'Then again, I always was.' With that, Deadpool teleported.

This time, Scorpion went into a battle stance, but Deadpool didn't reappear. Scorpion narrowed his eyes.

'Where are you!?' he shouted.

Then Scorpion heard someone chewing their food with their mouth open. Scorpion looked at the food place Deadpool was at before to see him eating popcorn.

'This is a great movie. Remember readers, don't do drugs!' Deadpool waved his hand at imaginary (or were they?) figures.

Scorpion growled. 'You're starting to annoy me.' With that, Scorpion took off his mask, revealing a flaming skull. With that; Scorpion started spewing flames at Deadpool.

Deadpool leapt away, but left the popcorn, which was burned to a crisp.

'Hey, I wanted them deep fried, not extra crispy!' Deadpool shouted.

Scorpion had now chosen the wise tactic of ignoring everything Deadpool said. He continued spewing flames, Deadpool simply leapt behind a pillar.

'And I thought MY looks could kill' Deadpool shouted.

Deadpool looked around to see that scorpion had teleported behind him. Scorpion punched, Deadpool ducked.

The punch hit the pillar, which burst into flames and started crumbling.

Deadpool Teleported away, while Scorpion did a leap back away from the rubble.

Scorpion looked around. 'Where did he go this time?' He shouted. 'Stop hiding!'

'I just went out to get you a present, and I found the perfect gift.' Scorpion looked at the upper floor to see Deadpool holding a piano.

'Take THIS you stupid coyote!' Deadpool shouted. Deadpool tossed the piano right at Scorpion.

Scorpion went into a defensive stance, when the piano was nearly on him he simply punched it, the piano made a C minor before being smashed into pieces.

'So… the coyote has learned a few new tricks, but HE NEVER BEATS THE ROAD RUNNER!' Deadpool shouted. With a 'beep beep' Deadpool jumped off the upper floor and threw some shurikens.

Scorpion dodged them easily with a sidestep, and teleported right behind Deadpool and punched him. Deadpool burst into flames, then Scorpion grabbed him and tossed him at a pillar.

The pillar collapsed, burying Deadpool.

Scorpion stared at the rubble. 'Looks like I'm the winner!' he announced.

Suddenly, he was stabbed in the back by two shurikens.

Scorpion gritted his teeth and turned around. Deadpool was there, his suit had a few tears, and even as Scorpion watched, the wounds he had began to heal. Even the third degree burns were vanishing.

'You must have damaged me a lot, my regeneration is going crazy.' Deadpool commented. 'Oh yeah, can you say something comical in five seconds?'

'What are you on about?' Scorpion shouted. Then he noticed that the shurikens had timers on them. 'Oh shi…'

BOOM

Either the explosives were more powerful or Scorpion was weakening. Because this time Scorpion was sent flying into the wall. He left an imprint of himself before collapsing to the ground.

'Not bad, but your going to have to work on it. I just didn't sense the energy.' Deadpool commented as if he were a judge in an idol contest.

Scorpion got up, but he seemed a bit worn down.

'So, got any funny things to say?'

'HELLFIRE!' Scorpion shouted.

Deadpool frowned. 'Whats so funny about… OW OW OW OW OW!' Deadpool started hopping as fire started shooting from the ground. Deadpool leapt out of the fire and into a freezer that just happened to be there.

'aaaahhhh.' Deadpool sighed.

'GET OVER HERE!' Scorpion shouted, the dart flew from his hand and stabbed right into Deadpool, who was once again dragged to Scorpion.

But when he was half way Scorpion teleported behind him and punched him, Deadpool burst into flames and flew away, only to be yanked back by the rope. Once again scorpion teleported and gave him a punch.

'I feel like a piñata' Deadpool whined even as he was punched again.

However, the next time Scorpion teleported, Deadpool had already vanished, he had left a potato behind.

Scorpion threw the potato away, and the explosive concealed in it exploded.

'TOO PREDICTABLE, NOW COME HERE SO I CAN RIP OUT YOUR SPINE, LETS SEE YOU REGENERATE THAT!' Scorpion shouted.

'Oh yeah! Deadpool shouted from behind Scorpion. 'Try this, MERCS REVENGE!'

Scorpion turned around and was shot repeatedly by Deadpool. Who then fired in a circle, leaving a lot of bullet holes around the mall.

Scorpion fell to the ground, and then got up, eyes ablaze. Ignoring the lead in him. 'NOTHING CAN KILL ME!' he roared. 'I AM A HELL SPAWNED REVANENT, PUNY MORTAL, YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!'

'Good thing I brought a spare.' Deadpools voice said from above.

Scorpion looked up just as a piano fell on top of him. Ironically, the piano did a B flat.

Deadpool teleported down. 'And just to be sure.' Deadpool announced. He got out a stake and a steak and thrust them both in the rubble of the piano, into Scorpion.

'Now if only I had some garlic…' Deadpool eyed some of the burns that were still there.

'Guess my healing was nearly outta juice.' He sighed. Then he brightened. 'Or perhaps the injury simply isn't that bad!'

'Yeah yeah' Death by Chocolate said. 'Well, Deadpool wins I would say I saw it coming, or I'm happy for you, but I'd be lying, so yeah.' DbC grinned. 'I saw that coming, I'm glad you won!'

Deadpool looked at the unconscious form of Scorpion.

'You know, with those injuries, he looks even more like my dad!'

DbC groaned. 'Honestly, those jokes are worse then hell.'

'Want to hear my knock knock jokes?' Deadpool asked cheerfully.

'You say one more joke, and you'll be on a one-way trip to hell.' DbC said darkly.

'Ok, ok, don't get your knickers in a knot. I guess I'll go do what I always wanted to do.' With that, Deadpool went and grabbed the ash that was once popcorn.

'I'm going to the movies' he announced. With that, Deadpool walked away.

DbC looked around at all the damage they created. The two collapsed pillars, the bullet holes, numerous shattered glass, Scorpion's imprint, all the scorch marks, and the fires that were still going, and sighed.

'I'll have to put more emphasis on not damaging the mall.' He muttered.

* * *

_**Well, thats a wrap for my version of the first round with Deadpool, hope you enjoyed it (i really, really hope...)**_

_**Well, R&R, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I do hope to improve, and hopefully i may win one!**_

_**Oh, and when **_**_'The Shadow Syndicate' does a version of this, i recommend to read it! along with the rest._**

_**Death by Chocolate... i guess he could have made chocolate copies of himself to watch every fight! **_

_**meh.**_


	3. R1 aftermaths Deadpool meets MIB Guy

_**Me and JJP55 decided to write a connecting chapter with our characters (Deadpool and Wolfwood aka MIB Guy).**_

_**Why? Because we felt like it i guess...**_

_**If you read JJP55's, this one is marginally different, but not much.**_

_**Anyway, hope you enjoy this random encounter.**_

* * *

'That's no moon… that's a space station.'

'Well, ain't that peachy?'

"canned laughter"

'its pulling us in!'

'Theres got to be something you can do…'

'I say we just go with the flow man.'

'Well, this SUCKS!' Deadpool shouted. 'How can you watch this garbage? It's a rip off, like I am of Deathstroke!' he paused. '…I'm out of here.'

Deadpool stormed out of the movie theatre, leaving confused people watching the movie "Iron Man".

Deadpool wondered where he should go. 'I know, I'll go return to the scene of the crime using the only way to travel, by ceiling!'

With that, Deadpool grabbed his blades, leapt at the ceiling and stabbed into it like an experienced mountain climber.

'2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?' Deadpool sang as he slowly, but surely, made his way back.

Deadpool made it back just in time to see a sushi bar blown up by a guy who could have been part of "Men in Black". He wore black, had sunglasses and he had a strange cross-shaped gun on his back. He had a slight cut on his right shoulder that must have been a bullet skimming on him, some slash marks on his shirt, and he certainly wasn't immaculate, he was dustier then an old western town.

'Wow, a random stranger, and I feel peckish. I'll go say hello.'

Deadpool dropped down from the ceiling.

The "Men in Black" Guy was startled at first, but then he began to raise his pistol…

Deadpool ignored this, instead choosing to look at what remained of the sushi bar.

'Wow, I've never seen such blatant disregard for Japanese food since… since I met myself.'

'And who are you, to be interfering in other peoples taste in food?' MIB Guy asked.

Deadpool sat down casually, like they were conversing over a nice meal, although the mess of metallic instruments of death scattered around the table, and in the trolley, somewhat spoiled the effect. Deadpool liked it though; it reminded him of the Deadhut. MIB Guy's gun was still pointing at Deadpool, but Deadpool didn't seem to care, whether he thought he could beat MIB Guy, or just wasn't thinking, he didn't seem to care.

'Most people call me NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!' Deadpool said with a rather disturbing grin on his face, relaxing in his seat. 'But you can call me Deadpool.' The more comfortable Deadpool seemed the more nervous MIB Guy felt.

'_He must know me, good to know people still know me, means I have a reputation.' _Deadpool thought.

'What, er, exactly, is wrong with your face?'

MIB Guy still had the gun facing Deadpool's general direction, but his focus was now drawn to the balaclava hiding Deadpool's face.

'I don't like the girl's to see my good looks, so I hide them… behind this mask.' Deadpool indicated his face. He felt that One side of it was frayed.

'_I'll have to get that fixed with peanut butter.'_ Deadpool thought.

'You're avoiding the question. Why don't you take that thing off, before I blow it off, along with your face.' MIB Guy aimed the gun properly again. Deadpool showed little reaction. He looked at MIB Guy mockingly.

'_Just wait until he sees my secret weapon…'_ Deadpool thought.

'That's so scary, but I got…' He began rummaging through his pockets. MIB Guy held his gun tighter, with two hands. At last Deadpool found what he was looking for.

'A RUBBER DUCKY! HA!' Deadpool held up a small rubber duck, with a small burn mark on one of its wings. MIB Guy burst into laughter.

'What is wrong with you!?' MIB Guy half yelled, between giggles. His gun was pointed at the table now. _'Kind of offensive…'_ Deadpool thought.

'Let's just say I was a lab rat once, except lab rats are treated better, oh, and they treated rubber duckies poorly too!' Deadpool gave the rubber duckie a squeeze, and it emitted a tiny squeak, as if in agreement.

'So… you must be the mutant that was fighting here before?' MIB Guy holstered his gun. Deadpool put away his rubber ducky, now they were both unarmed, but their weapons were in easy reach.

'Yep, against Scorpion. Go check under that piano under there. I added garlic, so he ain't getting up anytime soon.' Deadpool pointed to a spot behind MIB Guy. MIB Guy checked, and noticed a broken piano, looking like it had fallen from the roof, lying in pieces on the ground. Sticking out from under it was a yellow gloved hand.

'Yikes! Hold up - I thought the rule was no killing?' MIB guy exclaimed.

'_So says the guy who wiped out a sushi store for no reason.' _Deadpool thought.

'Oh come on, don't you watch cartoons? No one ever dies from a piano.' Deadpool replied. MIB Guy frowned.

'Well… we're not in a cartoon! Are we? I don't think we are…' MIB Guy said, confused.

'Hey I'm the one that's supposed to break the fourth wall here!' Deadpool shouted. _'I'm so going to send the guy who writes for me to kill the guy who writes for him'_ Deadpool thought furiously.

'Um… so, do you have any kind of… powers or something?' Wolfwood stuttered.

'_I gotta tell him my best powers, regeneration? Nah, too many people have that these days. Enhanced body, also very boring, lots of gadgets? Batman's got me beaten there… Wait, I know!'_

'My way with women, my common sense.' Deadpool boasted _'Lets see him beat that!'_

'Apparently not humility, then?' MIB Guy smiled.

'Who said? I have great humility, I'm so humble I make those Buddhist monks look like billionaire tycoons!' Deadpool huffed.

'Yes, and I'm the mayor of July…' MIB Guy stopped suddenly.

'You're the mayor of a whole MONTH! Wow. No need to boast, or anything.' Deadpool cried, in mock amazement. _'And people think I'm crazy…'_

'That's right – a whole month! Fear my power!' MIB Guy stretched out his arms, as if addressing a massive crowd. Deadpool made a few faint claps.

'I suppose that explains why in July, there are the most deaths…'

'ATTENTION COMPETITORS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE CENTRAL STAGE AREA, FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YOUR HOST!' The PA system blared loudly over the scattered conversations and clean-up operations going on throughout the mall. Preventing any retort from MIB Guy.

'What a coincidence, I have an argument I was about to bring up about the poor quality of their movies…' Deadpool leapt into the air and grabbed a rope on the upper floor, then started heading the opposite way to the main stage, swinging on the rope halfway across the food court, singing to himself.

'Deadpool-man, Deadpool-man, does whatever a psycho can…' Deadpool paused. 'I probably should have asked for the name of that guy.' He sighed. 'I guess I'll just call him MIB Guy for now.'

* * *

_**There is a possibility that more of these will appear. Depends i guess...**_

_**Remember, JJP55 good read. Yes, its blatant advertising, deal with it.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed this.  
**_


	4. Deadpool in: The Psychos of Shadowgate

_**Well, deadpool beat a Hellspawn from Mortal Kombat, that's all well and good. But can he beat a guy who likes snakes and still has dashing good looks? Find out in...**_

**Deadpool vs. Orochimaru: The Psychos at Shadowgate  
**

* * *

'Can he swing, from a web? No he can't, he's a freak. Watch out, heres a Deadpool-Man.'

So sang Deadpool as he awaited the next round.

Death by Chocolate came up upon the stand.

'And now for round two.' And the first match up, right on the bat. 'Deadpool vs. Orochimaru.

On a big-screen TV, pictures of the two people came up.

Deadpool looked up at his opponent on the big screen.

He had a sickly pale face, Long black hair, and wore some kind of light green outfit.

'I'll have to ask him about how he gets that lovely complexion.' Deadpool said while munching a potato, keeping his mask on as much of his face as possible while eating.

Suddenly he spat it out. 'Yuck, why am I eating potatoes anyway?' He quickly put his mask back completely over his face.

Meanwhile, on the upper level, Orochimaru was watching Deadpool.

'From what I've gathered, mainly thanks to you, Kabuto.' he nodded to the stationary figure by his side. 'He has gadgets, regeneration, and powerful martial art skills, and is psychotic. I can imagine what I could do with that body.' He licked his lips. 'I'm already at the way to immortality; with that body my immortality will reach new heights, my spirit may just have a permanent resting place.' Orochimaru's eyes glazed over, but quickly snapped back to reality. 'But for the fight, I'll need to find a good place to fight, and a way to stall for time while I set up the traps. In hand to hand combat, I could beat him, but with those gadgets I may need an advantage…'

A sickly grin went on his face. 'I think I have a great idea.'

* * *

'So all I have to do is find the guy with the great complexion, mess up his face, and bada bing, bada boom. I'm still undefeated. Aside from that time… and the time before that…'

His first sign of insanity **(A/N1)** was interrupted by Orochimaru walking right up to him silently and tapping him on the shoulder.

Deadpool turned around quickly. 'Hey, you're my opponent! Want to fight in an 'all you can eat' contest, or don't you have the stomach?'

Orochimaru simply gave him a sheet of paper, and a map of the store.

Deadpool read it out loud, sounding sickly and old, like he imagined Orochimaru was.

'Greetings, Deadpool. I know you want to fight soon, but I've always like puzzles, so I've given you clues around the mall for you to find my location. Here is the first clue, the next clue is in a place with flashing lights, and many thousands of words.'

Deadpool frowned. 'But your right in front of…' He paused and watched as Orochimaru crumbled into mud. Then he saw the last sentence on the paper.

'P.S. The Orochimaru you just saw was my substitution Jutsu'

Deadpool grinned. 'I always liked puzzles, unless it took a long time to solve them.'

Deadpool went off in search of the place with flashing lights and many thousands of words.

_Three Hours Later_

Groaning, Deadpool wrote another place on the list. 'ok, so far I've been to a Camera store; a Chemist; a gun store; Woolworths; my personal Favorite Victorian Secrets, where I bought a present for whoever my girlfriends will be later.' He grinned as he felt for something in his pocket. 'Remember kids, porn is beneficial for you! Anyway, now at last, a Gym, This better be the last one.'

Deadpool found the clue concealed a trophy case on the wall.

'You've gone far; how clever of you, now find me at the forest on the ground floor.'

Deadpool scratched his head. 'What kind of a clue is that?'

Despite the difficult riddle, he quickly managed to find out that it was a forest area on the ground floor.

He opened the door to enter, and was greeted by an explosion. Hit by the force, he flew back.

Coughing, he examined his wounds. 'Obviously explosives isn't his forte, it wasn't that powerful at all.

Deadpool waited for the wounds to regenerate, and then entered the forest.

The forest was large, like almost everything in the mall. And very realistic, if the plants were fake; Deadpool sure couldn't tell. The trees were massive, large enough to conceal a person easy, with enough room left over for a weapon.

'This guy reminds me of Arcade, but without the fun and games.' Deadpool muttered. Stepping carefully, tossing rocks around to detonate the explosives, as it seems explosives were everywhere. Some kind of weak mines, probably.

'Maybe I can turn this into a game!' Deadpool announced. With that he got a stone and threw it.

'hoppity skipitty hoppity hop' he sang as he played a game of hopscotch with himself. Whatever divine figure who looks after crazy people must have been working overtime.

Suddenly, from the trees a blur shot out.

Deadpool noticed it, and barely got his swords up only to get his hands grabbed by Orochimaru.

'You can really get to someone without trying, you know that.' Orochimaru hissed.

'I can't help that I'm so irresistible.' Deadpool grinned.

Both of them strained their muscles, trying to gain the advantage. They had not forgotten the techniques they had learned, but thought that the other may counter if they attempted one.

Suddenly Orochimaru opened his mouth and a snake shot out and bit Deadpool in the face. Deadpool couldn't think of a way to counter that one, except what any self-respecting superhero would say.

'AAHH, HE BIT ME, CHOMPER BIT ME!' he screamed, letting go of the swords and backing away, ripping the snake from his skull, he tossed it away, blood masked by the colour of his suit dripped freely before the wound closed up.

Orochimaru twirled the swords experimentally. 'Not bad, but I won't need them. You have deadly paralysing poison heading towards your heart, in two minutes you will experience fatigue, and in another fifteen you'll fall unconscious.

'Oh no, I can feel the poison sapping my strength.' Deadpool shouted melodramatically. 'Whatever shall I do?'

He paused. 'Orochimaru, I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.' He said in a mafia accent.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes. 'What?'

'EAT LEAD!' Deadpool shouted, drawing his guns and firing.

Like a blur Orochimaru dropped the swords and avoided the bullets. He went for a nearby tree for cover, but a bullet nicked his shoulder before he reached there. Grimacing, he kept moving and reached the cover.

'You can't hide forever. Your Ninja tricks aren't going to save you from MY mercenary tricks. Deadpool blew the smoke away from his gun.

'I only have to wait for sixteen minutes, keep yourself entertained with the other attraction.' Orochimaru said from behind the tree.

A hissing sound made Deadpool look around wildly and see that he was surrounded by serpents.

'_From what I understand, the bigger the wound, the faster it regenerates.'_ Orochimaru thought. _'A large gaping wound from a massive snake would regenerate faster, but a bunch of smaller wounds will regenerate slow, giving the opportunity for him to be taken out.'_

'Nice snakies…' Deadpool said nervously, feeling for his grenades.

Before he got the chance to use it, the serpents leapt at him.

Deadpool leapt even higher then the serpents. A couple of snakes bit onto his leg, but the rest fell on top of the grenade he left behind.

BOOM

Dozens of snakes were torn apart from the explosion, but dozens more began appearing and took their place.

Deadpool grimaced, his mind thinking strategy even as he tore two of the snakes off his legs. _'Damn it, lots of snake wounds will take me down, it won't activate my regeneration enough. I need to think of something… the poison!'_

Deadpool gave a grin, and bolted off, away from the snakes.

'What is he thinking?' Orochimaru said to himself. 'While my snakes can't move fast enough to catch him, the venom will take effect shortly.' He paused. 'I guess I'll just wait for it to take effect.

Orochimaru went into the centre of a pack of snakes, Deadpool wasn't going to sneak attack him any time soon. But he sent a few to scout, Deadpool should be getting fatigue now, maybe a snake would catch him.

Fifteen minutes passed, and nothing happened.

Orochimaru smirked. 'Its over' he grinned.

'Looks like I found Waldo.' A voice said from beside Orochimaru. 'Oh, and don't move, or I'll shoot.'

Orochimaru saw the snakes hissing, but they made no move towards him, knowing that he would be shot if they did.

'Heh, I had the whole thing planned out from the end.' Deadpool said smugly. 'You had no idea that I am pretty much immune to poison. You planned for a lot, but I made sure to erase that in my biography. And your ring of snakes was easy to teleport past.'

'And why didn't I sense you nearby? Your teleporting has its limit. Are you really that stealthy?' Orochimaru asked through clenched teeth.

'Of course! But the bullet that must have hit you would have helped. It contained a weak sedative that decreased all your senses, got it off the gun store on the way over. Who says spontaneous plans don't work?' As a director would say, "take five people, that's a wrap!"

Deadpool chuckled at his own joke then said. 'You got two choices. I shoot you unconscious and I win. Or you surrender. And I win.'

'I choose option three…' Orochimaru smirked. Suddenly, his arms extended and wrapped around Deadpool. Orochimaru whipped his head away to prevent it from being shot.

And then, he began to squeeze. Deadpool's gun hand was inside the coils. He could shoot, but unfortunately the gun was angled to hit himself instead.

'Option three…' Deadpool choked, gasping for air. '…Is being blown up to within an inch of your life.'

It was at that point Orochimaru noticed the remote Explosive, it was a fair distance away, but that was probably because it had a lot of power.

'Night night, Snake Man, maybe this will give you a bit of a tan.'

Within the coils of Orochimaru, Deadpool's hand pressed a button.

BOOM!

An explosion tore through the forest area, setting fire all over the place. Hit by the brunt of the shockwave, Orochimaru snapped back to non-extended limbs. Deadpool was mainly shielded by Orochimaru, but he still gritted his teeth from the force.

Then the sprinklers turned on, and water gushed all over them.

'Its times like this that makes you appreciate life.' Deadpool said with a tear in his eye. 'I'd like to thank the academy.'

With that, Deadpool looked at the unconscious form of Orochimaru. 'Well, its time. Adios, Amigo. I'm off to the Supermarket; I need to get some food for after I get back. Not to mention, CHEESY PUFFS!'

With that, Deadpool strolled out of the forest singing.

'It's the… eye of the Psycho; it's the thrill of the Fight.'

* * *

_A/N1: The first sign of insanity is talking to yourself, just so you know._

* * *

_**Deadpool has won, unless i lost, which would mean he lost, so his victory means little, it's how he won. If judges voted on who won, that would mean everyone won. While that would be nice, it would hardly be practical, and make the contest nearly completely pointless (Aside from some Hopefully top-quality stories). I hope you enjoyed it.**_

_**Why was the Chapter called "The Phsychos at Shadowgate"? If you have read Deltora Quest Three Book 2 you would probably understand. Think of it as an obscure reference.**_


	5. Ninja Way, Pirate Serpent D&S vs N&L

_**If you've read Lancer's first, you already know of the ramble i'm going to say,so if you've read that, or just want the story and not the writer's boring life story, move ahead.  
**_

_**Despite the massive time i had, i just didn't get in everything i wanted. Perhaps i was overambitious, perhaps i didn't spend my time wisely, perhaps it was just too much work and distractions.**_

_**I tossed around numerous ideas for this fight. One thing i enjoy being is creative, but due to they would take to long or seemed off they were scrapped. I liked this one, but i didn't get to do everything. I was hoping to make an intense melee fight scene with Neji and Deadpool. But it didn't seem to work too well. Maybe another time, but oh well.**_

_**Anyway, hope you enjoy the story.**_

* * *

**Deadpool and Snake vs. Neji and Luffy**

'So tell me again, why did you choose Personality over looks, I still don't get it.'

'Would you just shut up!' The doctor snapped.

'You think you can take me to the loony bin with THAT mouth? Think of some ruder words, you can borrow some of mine…'

The doctor sighed and once again wondered why he had chosen this job. There were the jobs to be a doctor for ordinary humans, but he had to go for this just because of an extra 200 an hour… Maybe then he would have avoided putting the head back on some ninja who wouldn't shut up.

'How can you even talk? You have no lungs.'

'Screw the rules, i have insanity and speaker implantations.'

At this point the doctor resisted a strong urge to throw the head out the window. 'I just want it to be perfect.' He said through clenched teeth. Truth be told, the doctor was the kind you could only understand by watching "Monk".

'So doc, why does it take so long to put my head back on, you mentally disabled? Don't worry, it isn't a BAD thing.'

At last, the doctor placed Deadpool's head on his shoulders, immediately they regenerated together.

'Thanks doc, I can feel my legs again.' Deadpool grinned, cricking his neck.

'Right… just try not to get injured in a way you can't regenerate again.' The doctor sighed. Like THAT was going to happen. He had been forced to hear part of Deadpool's "life story". He'd be lucky to see Deadpool no fewer then sixteen occasions. Each of them an incredible display of how a person with massive regeneration and immortality could still get injuries that required medical attention.

'I'll do my best doc.' Waving at the doctor, he exited the hospital, but not before laughing at the numerous injured people there.

'Well would you look at that, a book store.' Deadpool said in amazement, looking at a book store conveniently next to the hospital. 'I wonder if that book about time paradox's and fairies is there. I also wonder if "Insert obscure fictional book reference" is here as well.'

Deadpool strolled into the book store, which was completely empty of life.

'Well now, what books do we have here…?' He took a book out of the case and a trapdoor opened right next to him.

Deadpool looked at the trapdoor. 'Neat, so all I have to do is grab the book…' He squinted looking at the title. '…BRIDGET JONE'S DIARY!' he slammed it back in the bookcase and the trapdoor closed. '…I might be infested, where is the bathroom?'

He looked around wildly. 'It's ok, don't panic, the author won't let you be transformed into the thing so horrible the writer can't be bother to say what it is.'

It was at that moment a hand came from behind and did what we all secretly dreamed, covered Deadpool's mouth with a gloved hand.

Despite this, Deadpool kept on muffling out strange sounds.

'Would you shut up!' a coarse voice whispered in his ear. 'We're on the same team here.'

The person behind Deadpool released him.

'Wait… since when do we have teams.' Deadpool frowned, still not turning around.

'Since this match, it's on the big board over there.'

Deadpool looked outside the book store, and indeed it had teams and match-ups.

'So, your Snape?' He said.

'I'm SNAKE.'

'So you're not my teammate?'

'I AM your teammate.'

'But your not Snape, you said so yourself.'

'It says SNAKE.'

'So your Orochimaru! Hoy--YA' Deadpool attempted to flip the assailant onto the ground, only for the grip to tighten and Deadpool felt a painful shock running through his system.

'Fine, I'll believe you! Now teammate, would you be so kind as to take two steps back?'

'…why?'

'I'll be your fweeeend' Deadpool said in a childish voice.

Snake sighed. 'Fine then' he said, and he took two steps back.

As soon as he did, the place Snake had been exploded, tearing a hole in the Book Store's floor.

Snake looked at the hole and grimaced. 'I guess you are good.'

'That would be me. Deadpool, Mercenary Extraordinaire! He turned around holding a card in his hand. 'And here is my card.'

Snake looked at the card suspiciously before taking it. 'This says you're an FBI agent.'

'Oops, wrong one.' Deadpool said sheepishly, snatching the card off Snake. 'Here it is.' He took out of his pocket another card and handed it to Snake.

Snake took it. 'This one says you work at KFC.'

'Oh… Maybe I should check the card before I give it to you. Deadpool rummaged through his pocket and took out a large number of cards.

'Let's see here. I'm a communist, President of the Gay Rights Parade, a Mythbuster, God, wanted for speeding… HERE we go.' Deadpool handed a grubby folded card with messy writing saying "Deadpool, I hit people for cash".

Snake grimaced as he held the card; it had some strange gunk on it that he doubted he wanted to know about.

'That's very nice of you.' He said sarcastically, tossing the card away. 'Anyway, we gotta go.'

'Yeah, I gotta go…' Deadpool shuffled his feet. 'Where is the bathroom?'

'Plenty of time for the bathroom AFTER we win.' Snake commented. 'I've already set up a base, and a signal for them to know where we are. DON'T screw up my plan.'

Deadpool laughed. 'You said PLAN!'

Snake groaned and facepalmed, this was going to be an eventful fight.

'So, what is with that tight fitting skull suit?' Deadpool asked curiously.

'…Just follow me…' Snake growled, walking off.

'Okie-doky!' Deadpool Said cheerfully, taking a few steps forward, he paused and thought out loud. 'I wonder where our opponent's are.'

'Oh, they'll come to us. Like I said, I planned ahead…'

'_I just hope Otacon doesn't make a mockery of my plan'_ Snake thought, a grimace on his face.

'Honestly, first I had to get use to Naruto, and now him.' Neji muttered, sighing for what felt like the hundredth time. His grey eyes filled with controlled frustration.

'You look kinda sad partner.' Monkey D. Luffly said with a smile on his face. Despite that, there was no sarcasm. Honestly, his optimism and daftness was frustrating.

'It's nothing to worry about Monkey, let's just find our opposition and defeat them.' Neji said calmly, meanwhile his brain going through numerous strategies, possible ideas, and even thinking about future battles.

But first, he had to find his opponent's.

'BYAKUGAN!' he shouted, veins pulsating from his eyes.

'Wow… that was awesome!' Luffy's jaws dropped about fifty centimetres.

Neji controlled both his frustration and ego at the same time; there would be time to congratulate himself later.

'I can't see them…' he paused.

'HEY, WHAT'S THAT!?' Luffy shouted in Neji's ear.

Neji winced, his byakugan deactivated.

'What is it?' He muttered.

'Look at that big box!'

Neji looked down and indeed there was a rather large cardboard box sitting there, large enough to hide a few people with room.

Probably a trap, so Neji came up with a well-thought plan.

'Can you go check what's under there Monkey?'

'Sure!'

Luffy jumped down, creating a small crater where he landed. Luffy remained unfazed and he stretched his arms out and hurled the box off, revealing a…

Computer?

It was a screen with a single button on the keyboard, a big, red one.

'Press the button.' Neji shouted, bracing himself for an explosive.

Luffy pressed it, and the screen flared to life. An ominous voice echoed through the halls.

'Hello Luffy and Neji, would you like to play a game?' Sadistic laughter reverberated from the speakers. Then, a much more human voice came out.

'Sorry, couldn't resist. I bet you're wondering where your opponents are. Well, I'm suppose to tell you that they are currently at this location.' The screen went blank for a second, then a map appeared, with an arrow saying 'you are here' and another arrow saying 'you want to go here'.

Neji activated his byakugan from above and quickly memorized the map.

'Let's get going Monkey.' Neji said before dashing away.

'You're the partner!' Luffy grinned, turning to the computer screen. 'Thanks Mr.'

'This computer will self-destruct in ten seconds.' A mechanical voice said.

Luffy got the hint, and ran off just before a small crater (strangely similar to the one Luffy himself made) appeared in a blaze of flames that were quickly dosed by the sprinklers.

'You have got to be kidding me…' Neji said in disbelief.

'Hey, this looks like it's going to be fun.' Luffy made a massive smile.

Neji and Luffy had made it to where the map stated, a place that seemed to be at odds with the shops around it.

A haunted house.

It had the name "SAD Haunted house, they don't make 'em more haunted!" on the top and below in small letters "Common sense required to survive". The haunted house seemed to have just been shipped over and dumped there. It even had a roof which grazed the ceiling of the mall. The windows were shut and boarded, there were ominous creaking noises. All-in-all, it looked just right for what it was suppose to do.

Scare people.

Neji wasn't scared though, annoyed at the cheesy place perhaps, but that was about it. And Luffy seemed more entertained then anything else.

'Well, I see no reason in entering.' Neji stated. 'We'll wait right here for them to come to us. No need to fight them on their own ground. There is no rule against it.'

'Here here!' Luffy shouted.

'Hem Hem,' a voice said from behind them.

Startled (as he hadn't heard anyone come), Neji turned around to find Death by Chocolate regarding him coolly from a short distance away.

'New rules have come into place. Since they have used the calling card, you must honour it and fight them in the place they have chosen.'

'Oh, very well.' Neji frowned, already an advantage to the enemy, they would have to make up for that. 'Come along Monkey…' He turned back; only to see Luffy had already ran in screaming happily.

Sighing, Neji followed.

Silence; then, fifteen seconds later Death by Chocolate spoke.

'Hem Hem,' he paused. 'New rules have come into place. Since they have used the calling card, you must honour it and fight them in the place they have chosen.'

Death by Chocolate suddenly became distorted, his figure wavered, and if you looked real closely, you could see a device nestled among the watermelons in the shop next door creating thee figure, and a tiny speaker implanted on the floor under the illusion of Death by chocolates' feet.

Snake always thought ahead, it seems.

Neji and Luffy started moving slowly, the ominous creaking noises, the numerous doors, the suspicious-looking objects such as a massive spike and lines on floors that could be trapdoors.

'Hey, that rhymed!' A voice echoed through the halls, causing Luffy and Neji to immediately get into a battle stance.

'Seriously, you have to screw up every plan, don't…' the hoarse voice stopped abruptly, probably realizing his mistake.

'We got them.' Neji gave a smirk that looked entirely wrong on his face. With that, he went full-speed ahead.

Luffy trailed behind, and unfortunately fell down a trapdoor that Neji had; almost casually, stepped over. He stretched his arm out and grabbed it in mid-air. Only for the trapdoor to crash close.

'OWWW!' Luffy whined, tears in his eyes. Looking where his fingers were, you could see that his fingers were definitely more resilient then most; smashing the trapdoor and maintaining their grip, but leaving Luffy with some painful-looking blisters. 'Well, at least I'm still holding on…

Never tempt fate, Luffy. For at that moment, an explosive concealed in the wall detonated, and Luffy fell down the hole.

Meanwhile, Neji made it to where he was sure the voice had originated. A bedroom with a bed (covered in slime and an all-too fake rubber corpse) and a bookcase.

A bookcase; cliché, so it must me it.

Neji inspected it, and noticed one different; it had less dust, and a fingerprint. He grabbed it…

And suddenly he heard a 'crunch' and looked down and saw red hands come out of the floor holding onto his ankles. The force of them pulling caused the floor to collapse, and he found himself being swang around before hurled into another wall.

Groaning, Neji straightened up, seeing none other then the "Merc with the Mouth", Deadpool.

'Heya grey-face. Do you speak eeeenglish?' Deadpool said cheerfully.

'I speak it well enough.' Neji's hands started glowing with a blue aura.

Deadpool grinned. 'A pity, I wanted to test my Japanese. GODZILLA!' With that, Deadpool leapt at Neji, his fist positioned for a punch in the face.

Neji sidestepped it, and with a "Smash" Deadpool punched through the wood, shards of wood spared, but none of them impaled a person. Neji used the opportunity to throw a punch at Deadpool, who through himself forward using his arm in the wall and tore his arm out of the wall in a 180 degree swing, once again intent on a punch in the face.

Neji ducked, Deadpool's hand sailed through empty air and Neji grabbed Deadpool's hand, then applied pressure.

Deadpool grimaced as he heard his bones crack, and possibly break. It had happened so much it had lost all meaning. Taking advantage of the position he punched Neji in the chest, sending him smashing through the wall. This time a piece of wood _did _Pierce Deadpool's Shoulder. He tore it out, blood dripping. But he held onto it.

'Better be careful…' he frowned, noticing his other arm was still in pain. A quick check revealed it hadn't regenerated, and it WAS broken.

'What's all this then?' He muttered.

'I thought as much, your regeneration is somehow connected to chakra.' Neji leapt out and lashed his arm out, aiming at Deadpool's neck.

Deapool slid down and kicked Neji in the groin, Neji's face turned even paler and he stumbled back.

'I thought we were only using hands.' He gasped out.

'That was BEFORE I knew you stood a chance against me.' Deadpool chuckled, drawing out a sword. 'Now, would you surrender before this has to get messy?'

'No, but since we can use our other abilities…' Neji lashed out with his fist again, Deadpool ducked, but Neji kept going, until Suddenly a burst of blue energy sent Deadpool flying.

'I believe I can…' Deadpool stopped abruptly as he went face-first through another wall.

'How many rooms does this place have…' Neji paused, sensing something with his Byakugan, Deadpool had a…

Neji leapt down just as a burst of gunfire raked the room, splinters of wood flew everywhere and Neji winced in pain as some went right into his left shoulder that had jutted slightly above the rest of him.

'I know what you can do Deadpool, and I can counter it.' Neji thrust his palms forward, and a burst of chakra Obliterated wood and went straight towards Deadpool.

Deadpool leapt above it and fired several more shots, but all the splinters of wood and sawdust covered the place and the shots went wild. Neji however could see perfectly with the byakugan.

He leapt at Deadpool, palms thrust forward in anattempt to further disable Deadpool's regeneration and finish him.

Unfortunately for Neji, an explosive where Deadpool had once been sent out yet another spray of splinters, Neji hesitated for a second as they passed, and that second was all Deadpool needed. Grabbing his arm, he thrust it into Neji's face.

Neji almost screamed as he felt the chakra point's seal, some brain cells seemed to burst, along with blood cells.

He blindly lashed out, and at that point gravity reassurted itself, and they both fell down.

Neji could still see, a good sign, Deadpool however was not looking good. He had taken the brunt of the splinters, and they had peppered all of his body.

'_all I need is to disable his regeneration, I can still win.'_

At that point, Deadpool ran towards him.Neji ducked, then sprung and struck at the neck, and his attack…

Sailed harmlessly through.

Neji blinked. His opponent had pulled a fast one and used a holographic projector; he could see it nestled among the rubble.

'Byakuga…' He winced; his own powers were blocking his chakra points. His byakugan had been rendered useless.

'I guess I better find him.' He muttered.

Unbeknowest to him, Snake was watching through a small hidden security camera that had miraculously survived the fight.

'Now I know how Otacon feels, damn cushy job.' He muttered. Getting further into his comfy chair, he looked at the numerous TV screens showing sections of the haunted house. Turning on his radio he said 'Deadpool, do you copy?'

No answer. Either he was unconscious, or his radio had been destroyed in the fight. Either way, he better prepare to activate the traps.

Oh wait, there was Deadpool, a large bruise that wasn't healing, as well as a broken hand, numerous splinters of wood had pierced in flesh, and it seemed he had an idea, as he went into a closet, then nothing.

Getting up, snake realized something. He couldn't see Luffy on any of the camera's.

'damn it, where did he go.'

Crash

Snake turned to see Luffy having smashed a hole in the wall, brushing some sawdust off he said. 'Heya, I'm going to beat you now.'

Snake grabbed out his silencer. 'I don't think so…' He fired, intent on hitting a non-fatal spot, the left arm.

He needn't have bothered, as soon as the bullet hit Luffy, it stopped and bounced off harmlessly.

'I thought I told you.' Otacon's voice said in his ear. 'Luffy is immune to impact-based weaponry, a well as electricity. Explosives have little effect, but enough to get by in some cases His main weakness is sharp things. So get out your dagger!'

Snake needed no encouragement; he grabbed out his dagger from his belt and held it up.

'Come on now, dance pretty boy.' He growled. With that, he charged.

'Gum Gum Pistol!'

Luffy's fist went flying, and stretched all the way and connected with Snake's face with a loud Crack.

Snake stumbled back. 'Hey, I got the guns here; I should be the one hitting you from afar…' He spat out a mouthful of blood.

'Sorry about that, but my partner said I really need to beat you.' Luffy pulled his fists back.

This time Snake was prepared. As soon as the fist twitched, a signal is was about to strike, he rolled out of the way towards Luffy. He slashed with the dagger.

Luffy's stomach bent away, but he still got nicked, a tiny scratch, a drop of blood fell.

Snake laughed. 'I'd get that checked if I were you, I got that venom of that snake guy I battled with before…' He was interrupted by another smash to the head, only this time by Luffy's own head.

'Come to think of it, you are like that Orochimaru guy.' Snake spat out another mouthful of blood and rolled past Luffy and out the door.

Turning around, Luffy launched his arms out in an attempt to knock Snake out,

Snake stopped just in time for the fists to go over him and smash the floor right in front of him. Using the short time he had, he got out a detonator and pressed it.

The ceiling above Luffy exploded and piece after massive piece came down, crushing Luffy's arms. Or at least any normal Humans, all they did to Luffy was cause him to retract them, relatively unharmed, aside from one annoying piece that had pierced his elbow a couple of centimetres.

Luffy tore it out, ignoring the blood that came out with it.

'My teammate isn't going ot be happy, I wonder where he we…' Luffy noticed the TV screens, including one with Snake, in a Spa room with water grimy with a suspicious red…

'Found him!' Luffy grinned, and then proceeded to remove the rubble.

'Not in here either,' Neji sighed. Slamming the door of a room filled with cardboard vampires, he moved on to the next door.

This time, when he opened it he jumped out of the way just in time as knives shot out and struck the wall.

'Oh of course, traps. I should have remembered that.' Neji was fuming. Here he was, an incredible ninja. Jumping at shadows, he would have given himself a fail if he was teaching himself… And that sounded odd, even to his own ears.

He opened a cupboard door, and it was full of severed heads.

Neji turned away in disgust.

Bang, Bang, Bang

Neji felt an impact and the next thing he knew he was on the floor.

The last thing he thought of before he blacked out was

'_I've been shot…'_

Silence; Then, from the cupboard, muffled laughter.

'My fight with Orochimaru really taught me a few tricks.

A quick look at the heads in the upper section revealed the head of Deadpool, gun in his mouth, his tongue on the trigger.

'Whoever said you learn more from defeat then victory should be shot for revealing that information.' Deadpool grinned, only for the gun to fall out of his mouth, 'Oh, shoot. Now I just have to go help Snake beat Luffy.' He stopped, a thought occurring. 'Wait… How am I supposed to get my body back?'

Snake was running, or, as he preferred to call it. A "strategic retreat".

He couldn't shoot him, explosives only went so far, and his sharp weapon, the knife, wasn't good enough at range to get a good stab.

So he was running, while his mind ran through the numerous traps this place had. Unfortunately, most of them were the simple, explosive kind, others were the falling and break a bone kind, but they wouldn't be effective either. There was a flamethrower one, but Deadpool had 'accidentally' disabled them in his fight with Neji.

'_Gotta be something_' Deadpool gritted his teeth as room after room flashed by. A kitchen, a room with a big TV, a study, a library…

Smash

A long arm smashed through the wall, small splinters flew everywhere like rain. Snake's left and made a grab for him, Snake ducked out of the way, then a second hand smashed through and made a grab for him, once again a little too far above him.

Snake opened a cupboard, finding Deadpool's head.

'hey, can you find me my body?'

Snake responded by grabbing Deadpool's head and hurling it at Luffy's outstretched hand. It did no damage, but the hand retracted. Followed by a rather painful-sounding crunch.

Snake winced, but kept running.

Billiard room, dining room, trophy room.

Wait, trophy room, that's it!

Snake almost cried with triumph, and grinded to a halt.

At that moment, the hands smashed through the wall and smashed him in the stomach.

Snake flew into the trophy room, somewhat ungracefully. And hit a glass case filled with first-place trophies for torture events such as "longest lived after guillotine". Luckily, the glass didn't break. Possibly reinforced or not real glass.

Another hand shot out, and snake rolled away, then stabbed the hand.

Blood spurted out and dripped on the cold, already red wood. And the hand retracted.

Snake heard footsteps. 'Like a moth drawn to a flame.' He muttered, hand holding onto a remote in his pocket.

Luffy came in, that unshakable grin still on his face, but somewhat sullied by the blood, he also held one hand behind his back.

'You've fought well, but nothing will stop me, I'm gonna be king of the pirates!'

'Whatever you say…' Snake pressed a button on the remote.

An explosion detonated on the upper floor and debris covered the entrance.

'No escape, I'd surrender now.' Snake grinned, he had won.

'But, I can beat you.' Luffy brought his fist back.

'One more move and I'll set off the grenades.'

Luffy chuckled. 'I'll live.'

'You heard of fragmentation grenades?'

Luffy's smile fell a fraction. 'What are they?'

'Grenades filled with little SHARP pieces of metal, they'll rip your rubbery hide.' Snake attempted to give a grin like Luffy, but it came out somewhat forced and fake. Especially since it was partly a bluff. His armor would protect him from most of the shrapnel, but odds were he'd still be taking pieces out for weeks on end. Snake took the remote out and pointed it at Luffy menacingly, hoping that he would surrender.

'Oh… Well, before I surrender, I better give you something.' He hurled what was behind his back at Snake.

Snake caught it with his other hand. 'Deadpool?' He said in disbelief.

It was Deadpool's head, and it DIDN'T look good. Blood seeped everywhere, and parts of his skull were showing, very gruesome, but the worst part was Deadpool was still conscious.

'I kinda forgot a stage of the plan?' He grinned weakly, further revealing his skull around the cheeks. 'I think my regeneration ran out for the moment.

'damn, well…' Snake was interrupted by the remote being torn from his grip by Luffy's hand, followed by Luffy smashing it.

'No tricks now.' Luffy grinned, bringing his hands into a big circle. He prepared to clap with massive force, what a lame way to go.

Snake closed his eyes, this was going to hurt.

He opened them when he heard a strange gurgling sound.

Luffy's grin turned into a look of pain, then he fell to the ground, his face turning green.

Snake narrowed his eyes. 'What…'

Then he remembered.

_Luffy's stomach bent away, but he still got nicked, a tiny scratch, a drop of blood fell._

_Snake laughed. 'I'd get that checked if I were you, I got that venom of that snake guy I battled with before…'_

Obviously the venom did have an effect, probably the half-hour stuff like before.

'I guess we win, unless you didn't beat Neji.' Snake said conversationally, looking at the rather damaged head of Deadpool.

'Nah, I shot him a few times. But he'll live, he has…' Deadpool paused. 'On the other hand, considering how human he is, he probably needs a doctor.'

'We better get them to the hospital.' Snake Started to run to the exit of the Haunted House.

'Hey, aren't you going to say a head joke? Come on, like "You never had a good head on your shoulders", or even "You'll never get ahead of me".'

'Too easy Deadpool, I never do lame jokes, even for a no_body_ like you…'

* * *

_**I've only seen a few episodes of Naruto and One Piece (could probably count them both with two, maybe three hands). I hope they were done ok.**_

_**The main thing that stuck to me with Luffy was the line "I'm gonna be king of the Pirates!", but i felt sure if i used that line many times, you would either groan or want to kill me. So i tried adding some character.**_

_**Neji was frustrating, as even as i tried the time-skipped one, i kept using the pre-one with him being very fatalist etc. I just enjoyed that character more. Not that i'm too much of a fan of him (out of all of the Naruto cast that i've seen, Kabuto is the one who really stands out to me).**_

_**As for the venom... meh, I just remembered the fight with the venom, and i figured 'why couldn't Snake have gotten some in between everything that happened? Besides, i wanted a small twist. Didn't work with Orochimaru's fight, but maybe it wasn't that.**_

_**I feel that i lost the point of a TEAM fight, considering they didn't really do much as a team. But all the ones i was thinking with team fights really didn't work.**_

**_...And i'm rambling again. Hope you enjoyed the story._**


	6. Grudge Match: Deadpool vs Wolverine

_**Welcome to a battle of the ages! A true fight between two people who want the other's head on a pike!**_

_**If I were smart, I would have turned this into a serious, one-on-one punch up with a few random gadgets for Deadpool**_

_**Unfortunately I couldn't help but turn it into a somewhat comedy... So enjoy!**_

* * *

'An instant classic, Look at me drop that piano on Wolverine, just like I did to Scorpion. Some gags NEVER get old.'

Deadpool lay in a crater of random destruction he had caused in the library and laughed at the comic he was reading called "Wolverine: Origins"

'So, how does reading comic books and saying random things help you defeat your opponent's?' Snake said in a bored tone. After the fight, he had decided to do what he called "Behaviour reconnaissance" to figure out strategies to defeat his future opponent. Currently, he had only learned what he knew from the beginning. He was a nutcase with the belief that everyone and everything was fictional.

'Well yeah, who knows? Maybe the readers will find this entertaining.'

Readers… Either he thought this tournament would be turned into a novel, or once again thought he was in a fictional world, a written one at that. Snake attempted to commit it to memory, but found his head to be nearly full. What was going on? Had Deadpool's madness gotten that far in him already?

'Hmm… What people have thrashed Wolverine time and again, maybe I can copy their tactic.'

Those words were like tendrils. Creeping inside him, infecting his mind, this didn't seem right. He couldn't take much more of this…

'Then again, he only won the rest of the times because there were too many Wolverine fans around, not to mention he was the main character. I bet with my current style I can beat him anyway… Hey, where did Snake go?' Deadpool scanned the surroundings of the library. A bookcase had been overturned and he hadn't noticed.

Oh, and Snake was gone too.

'Well, I suppose I better get to my ACTUAL planning.' Chuckling, Deadpool tossed away the magazine, revealing a map of the shopping mall. 'Oh, and thanks for those creepy words. I think it made scaring him off all the easier…'

Snake ran, he had no idea where he was going; he just wanted to get AWAY from that maniac. He had thought Big Boss was a freak, but that guy… Something about him screamed madness, even Psycho Mantis hadn't been that bad, even if they did share thoughts of not being real…

As he went past a knife store, a gun shop, a plant store, and a doughnut shop. He couldn't help but realize how so very much in this mall could be used for self-slaughter…

'Let's see, I can use the "House of Knives" tactic at the butcher. Throw an endless amount of "Bridget Jones Diary" at him until he goes insane. Or toss him into the movie theatre where the lazy author was supposed to write an alternative ending. Or the author could make up for being lazy by making a huge superweapon crash from the sky for me to use.' He looked up, waiting for some heavenly sign.

And waited…

And waited…

'Oh, forget it; I'll just go to laugh at the people in the hospital until a smart one gives me an idea.' He snapped after three seconds.

Huffing, he left the McDonalds, somehow completely missing the stand saying "Get your unbeatable battle tactics here, one vs. one for half price!"

Or maybe… he just didn't care.

'What do you mean I can't enter the hospital?'

'_Sorry, but all the people in have complained of you coming in. While they do feel better that they aren't you, they are still sick of your constant pestering. I caught one attempting to slice his ears off with a surgical knife.' _The white and purple feline Pokémon Mewtwo said, although it came to Deadpool's head somewhat garbled. Mewtwo had to concentrate hard to get the message into Deadpool's head. It was like a five thousand piece jigsaw puzzle with no picture and no side pieces. Good thing Mewtwo was a genius.

Deadpool frowned, and Mewtwo braced himself. He couldn't get far into Deadpool's head, but he could feel a somewhat angry vibe.

An angry vibe that vanished almost instantly, replaced by some sort of cunning that made Mewtwo frown. It wasn't as much as Giovanni, but it was irritating.

'So, I can't get in.' He purred, much to Mewtwo's annoyance. 'But it isn't ILLEGAL to FIGHT in the hospital, am I right?'

'_As long as no-one dies, it is allowed.' _Mewtwo admitted reluctantly.

'Got it,' Deadpool grabbed from his utility belt a megaphone. 'Hey Wolverine, get your ass over here!' He shouted, the words echoing throughout the mall; then Deadpool tossed the megaphone away. 'I had to leave my grenades at the candy store, but it was worth it; although, I do pity the next person who buys a chocolate egg.'

Mewtwo gave the mental equivalent of a sigh, and at that moment he sensed another mind coming closer, a presence.

Five seconds later the ceiling collapsed, and Deadpool found himself with three claws protruding from the side of his chest, millimetres away from his lungs.

'You came, now I can go into the hospital!' Deadpool shouted to a somewhat confused Wolverine.

'_Well, I'm off to the candy store to stop any hapless passer-by's from consuming your grenades. Don't kill anyone.'_

'I won't bill anyone.' Deadpool said brightly, blood still flowing from his chest.

Mewtwo considered saying it again, but figured it would probably be a waste. So with another mental sigh he floated off.

Slightly pissed off by Deadpool ignoring him, Wolverine picked him up with one hand and hurled him into the hospital. However the time they had been talking had given Deadpool the time to recover, allowing him to hit the back-wall feet-first, right above a shaking man in his mid-twenties with cut marks on his ears. Seeing Deadpool's face made the man suddenly feel around rapidly for a sharp object.

'Hey, I remember…' Deadpool gave up his chance to rebound off the wall for three words, he fell to the bed.

'Pool, you really gotta think more.' Wolverine grunted, walking into the doorway, blocking the exit. 'A hospital with people your not suppose to kill isn't the smartest place to fight.'

'I know you are, but what am I?!' Deadpool shouted. Jumping up, he withdrew his guns and opened fire.

'_Damnit, he really is nuts. I can't let him kill anyone.'_

Wolverine ran forward, ignoring the bullets and managing to ignore the impacts, then jumped up and tackled Deadpool onto the bed (the previous owner of the bed had scurried off).

'You're a real idiot, you know that.' Wolverine growled, bringing his fist back, he through it towards Deadpool's face.

clang

Wolverine winced as Deadpool unsheathed his blade and sliced through Wolverine to swipe the claws away. Using his other hand Deadpool pushed and threw Wolverine off the bed, where he regained his footing quickly.

'You know, that could have looked and sounded very kinky.' Deadpool commented, standing up on the bed, both swords raised in a 'T' formation. 'Now, en garde! And I dare you to write "En Guarde" on the Firefox url, then press enter.'

Growling as he took a quick glance at the quickly regenerating cut on his stomach and chest, Wolverine lunged forward, claws outstretched.

Once again blades met claws and they both stood with their faces next to their weapons; deadlock, both of them straining to get the upper hand.

'So tell me Wolverine' Deadpool murmured through clenched teeth. 'Did you get a haircut?'

Wolverine responded by kicking Deadpool in the groin. The effect was rather odd. Instead of kneeling to the ground, he did a backflip and crashed into a doorway leading to the 'needle room'.

'Hey, I'M the one who is supposed to take the cheap shots! The author is losing marks for incorrect characterization after this!' Deadpool shouted from the floor, his voice somewhat high pitched.

Wolverine charged forward, only to get a face full of injection needles. Wolverine fell back, momentarily stunned.

'Damn you 'Pool' Wolverine growled, tearing out the needles. Unfortunately after that he found rather larger needles (otherwise known as Deadpool's two blades) stabbing into his chest. Somehow they had not hit bones; which was bad for Wolverine, since the adamantium laced bone would have stopped the blades easily.

Then again, they hit one artery, and blood spurted out, spraying on Deadpool. Wolverine ripped and tossed the blades behind, where they nearly impaled the man from before, now hiding in a corner. He took one look at the still quivering blades and passed out.

Wolverine's wounds quickly healed up, this time he moved more slowly towards Deadpool, ready to defend against anything that was thrown at him.

Deadpool also backed away slowly, feeling around his waist for a weapon.

'Get your mind out of the gutter readers!' Deadpool shouted, drawing his guns and firing.

Deadpool, according to Wikipedia, has great accuracy. The following scene however is not a good example.

Bullets pelted the entire room, shattered needles and glass flew everywhere in a hailstorm. Not one bullet hit Wolverine, although some fragments cut into him. But he barely noticed, as he only had one target: Deadpool. He ducked and weaved the bullets, one hitting him and disintegrating as it hit the adamantinum-laced arm bone. Until finally Wolverine heard the satisfying click of no more bullets, where he lunged forward.

Deadpool laughed and threw the guns into Wolverine's face, Wolverine slowed down for a split second, giving Deadpool enough time to turn tail and run through the needle room (or what was left of it…). Wolverine went in hot pursuit.

Now they were in a room with a strange white cylinder machine. The machine had a semicircle hole, probably suppose to fit a human.

'I wonder what that is.' Deadpool muttered under his breath. Sighing, he turned around with a spare pistol and fir….

The pistol met a gristly end as one of Wolverine's claws stabbed right into the hole. Deadpool did a backflip and crashed into the machine, scrabbling frantically for anything. Unfortunately, his utility belt was empty.

'_Should have gotten one like Batman's _He thought to himself.

Wolverine lashed out, the gun tossed aside, and Deadpool had no choice but to scrabble into the machine. Unfortunately, there was no exit aside from the one that Wolverine was currently sliding into, claws outstretched and ready to stab most painfully, even as he commando-crawled towards him.

Looking around Deadpool suddenly had an epiphany, realizing where he was, and what to do.

Just in time, for Wolverine had just come up to and he thrust his claws forward at Deapool's head.

…Only to meet empty air, the mercenary had body slided (the fancy-pants word for his teleporting) outside the machine, and was standing outside, right next to the control panel. It didn't take Deadpool long to find the massive red switch marked: ON.

Suddenly a massive force pushed Wolverine to the ceiling. Grunting, he tried to move, but even straining his muscles to the max, he couldn't.

Deadpool's head stuck into the circle, smirking at Wolverine. 'Oh dear, don't tell me you brought metal into an MRI scanner,' He tutted. 'Bad boy… Well, now that the joke is out of the way, do you surrender?'

'Like hell I'll surrender to you, pool.' Wolverine snarled, his entire body vibrating, trying but failing to get out of the machine.

'Well, I still have time to go grab my swords, the bullets from my ruined gun one of my empty guns. After I'll see if I can find my grenades…' Deadpool smiled. 'Aahh, the possibilities.'

'Fine Pool, I surrender!'

'Really, isn't that nice. Well, I'll be seeing you!' Deadpool left the room.

'HEY! Get me outta here pool!' Wolverine strained his muscles, to no avail. 'YOU'RE DEAD DO YOU HEAR ME – YOU'RE DEAD… Pool.' Wolverine sighed. He despised bad puns.

'I hope someone comes here soon,' he mumbled. 'I need to piss…'

* * *

_**And that was the thrilling conclusion to the fight everyone was waiting for! Withold your torches and pitchforks please.**_

_**please...**_

_**PLEASE!**_

_**Screams, gurgling, angry shouts**_

**Deadpool: _Looks like i'll have to write the final round, Cool! Now I can get my superweapon._**


	7. Psycho Match, Deadpool vs Sylar

_**Final Round! Not to mention my last chapter before going overseas. I'm probably going to make one for the 'chaos round' when I get a chance as well, but meh.**_

_**Anyway, hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

Sylar looked innocent enough, sipping his coffee in a little store. He took small, articulate sips. His fingers (perfect for surgeons and watchmakers) would have been the envy of most of the world, if not for the dry blood covering them.

Inwardly he was grinning, he had already heard that in the final round killing was ok, and now was waiting for the match-ups. Since he was allowed to kill now, he was hoping it would be someone whose power he could steal. And if he found that Naraku guy, he may just see what made him tic as well…

He made small but vicious growl. That jewel had been little assistance in enhancing his power, and Naraku had already taken the jewel from him. To think he had at first respected Naraku's way of evolution, replacing the weak with the strong. Now all he felt towards him was hatred. Perhaps it was hypocritical, but Sylar didn't care, at the very least Naraku could be a threat.

Chuckling at the match-up of "Kyuubi vs. Roku", he at last he heard his name come up. "Sylar vs. Deadpool", the voice blared throughout the mall.

Sylar used his memory-enhancing ability to remember all he could on that man. Apparently he had regeneration like his, so that was useless to him. Although his regeneration seemed to give him enhanced strength, as well as gain power from larger wounds, perhaps that would be useful after all. Deadpool was also supposedly immortal, but that power may not be in the brain, or any physical aspect. A pity, but he'd obtain immortality from someone else easily enough.

But of course, there was the matter of finding his opponent…

No sooner had he thought those words then alarm bells started ringing in his head. Knowing to trust his instincts , he ducked.

The loud noise of repeated gunshots was heard, and bullets pelted the store in a sideways hailstorm. They shredded everything, plaster and lots of spilt coffee spilt onto the floor like a downpour of its own.

Outside the store, guns still smoking and a skateboard at his feet, Deadpool grinned. 'Now THAT'S how we' do that the Texan way!' Deadpool said in a suspiciously _Scottish_ accent. 'Now I wait for the smoke to clear to confirm my victory…'

The smoke cleared. Revealing Sylar sitting cross-legged with a telekinetic barrier surrounding him (but not the table, which had been reduced to what you wouldn't even use as matchsticks).

'Well… That could have ended better…' Deadpool flipped the skateboard up and started rolling off.

'Oh no, you can't escape ME.' Sylar grinned menacingly, making slashing movements with his arms, the shots that Deadpool was making blocked by the telekinetic barrier.

First a gash appeared on the ground behind Deadpool, then it smashed a piece of fine china in the opposite store, then a gash in the floor in front, when the skateboard bumped into it Deadpool leapt into the air, fired a few more shots, then landed on the ground gracefully.

Sylar was now doing a mad dance, slashing his arms around like a maniac, large cuts into the concrete and tiles went everywhere, as well as more smashed china.

Deadpool did what seemed like a Russian Cossack dance, avoiding them.

Sylar stopped, seemingly confused. He was almost certain he had lacerated Deadpool, But he was still in one piece, doing that ridiculous dance.

Snarling, Sylar walked towards him, not even bothering with the telekinetic slashes, they were having no effect and merely drained his energy.

Suddenly, wind started blowing, creating a tornado with Sylar at the eye. The maelstrom picked up objects like paper and hurled them around, as well as Deadpool.

'Woah, this must be how Dorothy felt!' Is what Deadpool tried to say, but the wind snatched the words out of his mouth and got lost, much to Sylars delight…

Not that Sylar seemed to be in the mood to be happy, his opponent still seemed pretty alive, enough to fire some lead at him, not that it got anywhere near him. Firing while spinning around at about one hundred kilometres per hour probably wasn't that easy.

Sylar realized with disgust that while what he was doing was flashy, it was doing little to affect his opponent and costing him far too much energy. He lifted his hands up and the tornado abruptly stopped, numerous objects fell to the ground. Including some nasty shards of glass, Sylar still had his barrier up to protect from any bullet shots, but Deadpool wasn't quite as safe, he suit got a couple of tears, but the wounds quickly regenerated.

And oddly, even his suit repaired itself…

Sylar blinked, but there was no mistaking it, the suit seemed to be self-repairing as well.

This battle had just gotten all the more frustrating…

'Follow the leader! After all, you only WISH you were as crazy as me!' Deadpool shouted, running backwards and firing round after round. Each bullet disintegrating as it hit the nearly invisible barrier. But unknown to Deadpool, one of those bullets tore through and whizzed past Sylar's ear.

'_Damn, My power is slipping, I best concentrate…'_ Sylar lifted slightly, hovering above the floor, and went in hot pursuit, hurling object after object. First a sofa, then a flurry of knives and forks. Deadpool back flipped to avoid the faster utensils, but was hit in the back by the sofa, and landed on the Escalator.

Sylar hovered forward, and another burst of gunfire struck the barrier, Sylar felt his energy slipping. Snarling, he hurled fine china after fine china.

Deadpool grabbed the sofa and held it forward as a shield, it got bitten into by the china, but remained, then Deadpool hurled the sofa at Sylar.

Grinning like a maniac, Sylar lifted his hands and the sofa stopped in its tracks, a second later it got hurled back.

Deadpool dashed up the escalator and jumped to the side, avoiding the sofa. Blinking blinked in surprise at the store he found himself in front of.

Sylar was going up the escalator when he heard Deadpool shout 'As it begins, so shall it end!'

With that, he saw a piano hurtling towards him from above. Gritting his teeth, he thrust his hands forward, freezing it.

Deadpool leapt and gave the piano a hefty kick. Sylar's concentration shattered and the piano struck the barrier, shattering it. Sylar could only stand there shocked as the piano fell on top of him with a loud *crash*.

'I am Mr. Irony!' Deadpool declared from the top of the escalator. 'No-one will stop me from…' He paused. 'Come to think of it, what the heck am I doing here again?'

At that moment, the piano slowly but gradually lifted off the ground, revealing a scarred, dazed, but still alive Sylar.

'Damn… You…' Sylar made those words out. 'I may not eat brains, but with you I may just make an exception…'

Deadpool drew out his guns, but they made the telltale *click* of no ammo.

Sylar was taking no chances; Deadpool found the guns ripped to shreds in his very hands.

Sylar was sprawled on the ground, barely moving, but he still waved his arms, manipulating the playing field.

Only this time, he wasn't holding back.

Entire stores were being ripped from the walls and hurled at Deadpool, two at a time from both sides in an attempt to crush him.

'You would have thought after all the beating you've taken; you would be WEAKER then now!' Deadpool shouted as the stores collided with him in the centre.

'You'd be amazed at what anger and adrenaline can do.' Sylar muttered, slamming his hands together.

Deadpool found himself trapped in two stores, his very favourite Piano store (all the pianos were at the very end of the store, and whatever the other store held was shattered into millions of pieces of glass.

Suddenly the walls burst from the sides and began coming together.

'This is NOT Star Wars you ass!' Deadpool shouted, hurling grenades to both sides at the rapidly moving walls and pianos.

Huge explosions turned the walls and pianos to cinders. Deadpool leapt out of the right wall, his feet getting many cuts from the glass, but quickly healed up.

…only to bash right into another slab of concrete at speed, twisting his head, he saw another slab heading from the other destroyed wall to crush him.

Deadpool made a fist and punched. The slab of concrete promptly shattered, but Deadpool flew out on the slab of concrete and made his way out, the concrete shattered as it sailed and hit another wall, and Deadpool ran at Sylar.

'DAMN IT!'

Shards of glass from the room before struck like a swarm of angry bees, slicing and cutting. Deadpool's regeneration was little use against multiple small wounds and Deadpool started bleeding deeply, although his suit repaired itself rapidly, so little blood actually seeped to the floor.

Sylar smirked weakly as he made small movements with his hands, the shards of glass surrounded Deadpool, cutting and ripping.

Suddenly Deadpool vanished, and Sylar felt cold steel on the back of his head. The glass fell to the floor. Sylar groaned, realizing he forgot to put up the barrier.

'Make one wrong move, and you'll never get ahead in life…' he paused, 'Wait, that jokes already been done. Ok, one wrong move and you'll be the envy of all tonsurephobic people everywhere.'

Sylar grimaced, not that he had any idea what tonsurephobia was, but he had lost.

'Why don't you just kill me now?' Sylar murmured.

'For dramatic effect!' Deadpool announced,

Sylar felt a bead of blood trickle down, his mind went through what he could do. In the end he came up with one option. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he attempted to enter Deadpool's mind.

_*In the mind of Deadpool*_

Sylar found himself right on the outside in a flurry of chaotic colours, a flimsy barrier (the kind protecting bridges under construction) between him and Deadpool's mind, which seemed to be a blank. No surprises there.

'_I wouldn't go in there if I were you…'_ He heard Deadpool's voice echo all around him. Sylar snorted, this was going to be easier then he thought, why hadn't he thought of this in the first place? Making a mental shrug, he barged through the barrier…

He walked through the darkness, searching for the brain in the darkness. It was all the same, but Sylar was confident, he knew his way around, he had done this before…

All of a sudden he heard a strange noise, it sounded like maniacal laughter…

And then; out of the darkness, came a mass of pink glop. The stuff grew larger and larger, then pink tentacles shot out to strike Sylar.

Sylar screamed, he jumped back to avoid the tentacles and turned around to run for the safety of his own mind…

But he was too slow; the pink tentacles surrounded and enveloped him, twisting his head around he saw a massive gap in the glop, in the shape of a mouth. He could only watch in horror as it came closer, and swallowed him whole…

_*back in the 'real' world*_

Sylar collapsed on the floor, saliva exiting his mouth and his muscles all loosened. Deadpool sheathed his blade and inspected Sylar. He had a pulse, but he seemed unable to do anything, he had become a vegetable it seems.

Perhaps he would get over it with therapy, or maybe he should kill him now. Deadpool began unsheathing his sword, but paused for a moment. Sighing, he sheathed his sword again. Picking Sylar up, he slowly staggered his way to the exit of the mall and hurled him out like a sack of potatoes.

Then, he sat down. 'Bloody suit. "Self-repairing and not-magnetic-but-close-enough fibre will allow you to keep your limbs and allow you to need only one suit!" he said. "It's fullproof!" he said.

_*Deadpool Flashback*_

'In the final round, they are allowed to kill you' Weasle said, his all-too-big (Anime) eyes stared at Deadpool, a tear in his eye.

'Do not fret my beloved!' Deadpool announced to the world, canned laughter echoed throughout the magnificent mansion, and loudly through the veiled bedroom they were talking in. 'For I know you have built a magical suit for me!'

'Oh yes, indeed I have. For Cable came to me in a dream, telling me how to create a suit that may save your life! Not that you need saving, he who screwed with death!'

'Indeed my young apprentice.' Deadpool said sleazily, drawing a cylinder from the black cloak lying on the bed. 'Now, how does the suit work?'

'Well, it is able to regenerate together by the special fabric, as well as absorbent for all the blood and gore that happens in fights. It also has a few built-in gadgets.'

'So, let me get this straight…' Deadpool said slowly, trying to get his head around the concept. 'It's magnetic clothing?'

'NO! Then you would get attached to all metal objects in the gladiator arena! Don't you understand?!'

'To be honest my dear,' Deadpool paused. 'I don't give a damn…'

_*End completely incorrect flashback*_

I may just ask Weasel to build a torture advice that force-feeds Nachos, and use it on him!' Deadpool cackled maniacally. 'Now I better get some first aid, and if Snake taught me anything, a cigarette heals all wounds…'

* * *

_**Two 'alternate universes', meh.**_

_**I was going to save the special suit for the chaos round, but I couldn't help but add it in now.**_

_**Sylar will probably be ok folks! Ok and kicking butt in the chaos rounds. And THAT'S only if I win, so yeah. Don't worry you Sylar fans!**_

_**Well, been a great tournament. Hope you enjoyed reading it as I'm sure everyone in this tournament enjoyed writing it!**_


	8. Chaos Round Part 1

_**One of the "Alternative Endings" for "A Winner is You!". Also see Lancers if you wish for this to make a bit more sense.**_

* * *

**Chaos Round : Deadpool part 1  
**

**Or**

**Oops, Deadpool did it again!  
**

'How DARE they!'

Once again in his "reading corner", the smoldering crater in the library, right next to upturned bookcases and on the wall behind him was a "No Smoking" sign.

Deadpool could have almost started a fire with his gaze, staring furiously at a dull black laptop he had 'liberated' from Snake, with an additional attachment of Deadpool's own design. Using complex quantum mechanics and Dimensional technology he had swiped here and there. This device looked like a simple 128 megabyte memory stick, but it had the ability to access websites beyond the forth wall!

Naturally, the first thing he did was look up porn. But quickly realized it was all too fake for his liking, for one thing the breasts were far too small to be real… I mean, fake.

So after a bit more searching he found an obscure little website called . After staring at his own story, which gave a rather strange feeling as he watched it writing itself, His eyes gazed at the screen intensely. He became awed by how amazing the author was, beyond godlike and magnifi-

*BANG*

Intent on describing himself, the author neglected to describe the amazingly smooth movement of Deadpool drawing his gun and firing. The bullet tore through the fourth wall into the internet café in Mira Flores where the author was currently typing. Being the real world, someone had to die. In this case a man in his mid-forties with blue eyes and dark brown hair, and an all grey outfit. He died from a clean shot through the head. In the ensuing chaos the author quietly escaped to another internet café to type about the amazing human that is Deadpool Such power, such grace, such…

'Ok, that's enough ass-kissing' Deadpool interrupted. Returning the gun to his holster, he continued 'let's keep this story going before it is deemed too insane.

'Bit late for that.' The author muttered, but continued typing all the same. Thankfully, Deadpool stopped reading his story, moving on to read others. After hilarious antics that can only be for a spinoff or an extra chapter, Deadpool made his way to the stories that belonged to the finalists.

And after reading Alius' entry, we come to the point which infuriates Deadpool immensely.

'How DARE that writer break the fourth wall without me!' Deadpool shouted to the world.

Breathing heavily, Deadpool stood up. The laptop slid off his lap and hit the floor with a *bang*.

Idly, Deadpool wondered as he drew his pistols if he could find where to shoot in order to teach that author a lesson. It would require immense research and dedication.

'Bugger it,' Deadpool muttered, placing the pistol back in its holster. 'I'll just go kill their character. That way they'll have nothing to write about!' Giving the laptop a hefty kick as a "thank you", he sprinted out of his reading room into the wide open space of the mall.

And boy was "wide open space" a good description.

Large holes had been torn all over the place, showing a cloudy night sky; melted sludge of _concrete_ dotted the area. Perhaps worst of all, both the adult store and the fast food outlets were gone!

'Hoh boy, Alius' character is going to get it now.' Deadpool muttered. 'Yep, I'm going to kill…' He paused. Something with odds so high only a terrible writer could have conjured it happened. The section of Deadpool's brain that held the memory of the person he was going to kill became cancerous, followed by being replaced, leaving him with a blank where the name should be.

Frantically, he looked around for the computer; it was nowhere to be found. 'Relax Deadpool; you can remember who it was.' Deadpool began, he always enjoyed talking to himself, it was the only person who understood him (most of the time, anyway). 'Ok, the finalists were the old guy and the demon fox. Who is more likely to break the fourth wall…

Deadpool thought for a few seconds, and then snapped his fingers. 'Of COURSE it's the demon. They are always trying to piss you off, why would an old guy break the fourth wall?'

He grinned as it all went into place. 'Well now, all I have to do is prepare. After all, how hard can it be to find a demon?' He noticed the laptop he had kicked, a big dent still in the keyboard. Picking it up and noting it was still working, he began slowly (for the keyboard seemed to have a bit of trouble responding) asking how to defeat a demon like that.

Eventually, he came up with a plan. The only problem was he needed something, and the person who had it wasn't here.

At that moment, another one in a million thing happened. The core of the mall had a glitch, creating a small rift between dimensions which one person happened to accidentally stroll into, just the person Deadpool needed, who happened to be back in the crater that was his reading room.

'Awesome! Cheers for the author!' This author couldn't help but point out how just before Deadpool had been pointing a gun at him and muttering death threats under his breath unless he got what he wanted, and fast. So no good adventure for the character (who has to remain anonymous for surprise later) that allowed him to end up here. Oh no, he'll be lucky to just end up with a brief interlude to cut off from the action about to happen…

'Oh, just cut to where I'm prepared.' Deadpool put the gun back in its holster, but drew out his katana. 'I got some surgery to do…'

* * *

Kyuubi had been reborn.

As darkness settled in the sky, there was a light. Not a light of hope, but a light of destruction, the fiery light that would engulf the world, and lead to oblivion.

As such, the spectators perhaps did the first smart thing they had ever done the entire time, and fled in terror.

And yet…

A figure stood in the remains of the mall and shattered earth. A figure in red and black, and would turn you black and blue. Smoking a cigarette (Well, ot really smoking, it was just in front of where his mouth would be if he had his mask off) with one hand and holding a gun with the other.

'Looks like the Devil's come again.' He said with a New York Accent. 'Let's go tell him we paid the rent already, so he should go back to hell.' He hurled the cigaretteat Kyuubi, missing by a wide margin.

Kyuubi looked at him, the fury and malevolence coming out of those demonic eyes promised pain and death.

And yet it wasn't directed at Deadpool, he was merely a fly to be swatted. No, what he was furious with was the planet.

'You best run.' The words echoed despite the lack of anything to rebound off. 'You may be spared longer.'

'For breaking the fourth wall, I will NOT forgive you!' Deadpool shouted. 'I challenge you foul demon! Face me and perish!'

Kyuubi sighed. This fool, he should probably swat him aside.

Yet even as he thought that, he sensed something. Pure malevolence, a familiar feeling to his own even, and it came from the man who stood defiant.

With a roar that chilled the very blood of anyone within a ten mile radius, Kyuubi began shrinking, until he was almost exactly the same size as Deadpool.

'Very well, Let's get this over with quick…' He said, as casual as the unholy and dark words could be. He flexed his talons.

Deadpool aimed his pistol…

And suddenly Kyuubi was right in front of him, it's talons in Deadpool's chest. With a sick grin Kyuubi tore out Deadpool's heart with one talon, while using the other to turn the pistol into a ball of metal.

It would have been silent for a few seconds if not for the "Thump" of Deadpool's heart defying logic and continuing to beat.

Then, Deadpool laughed *Thump*, the gaping hole in his chest began to vanish *Thump*, and you could vaguely see a new heart reforming in his chest. But not before a massive amount of blood was left at his feet.

'I could single-handedly become 99.9% of the world's blood and organ donor *Thump*.' Deadpool noted. 'Which is why my heart belongs to another Kyuubi *Thump*. It's you, not…' he drew out his katana and did an uppercut, which Kyuubi effortlessly blocked with his claws. 'Me…'

Kyuubi's claw was in front of Deadpool's face. He flicked…

And Deadpool was sent hurtling away at roughly fifty kilometres per hour. Before mercifully being stopped by liquid cement.

'Couldn't it have been a trampoline?' Deadpool muttered, ignoring the heat that even the specially designed suit couldn't prevent from getting to his skin.

Even as he started brushing it off, there was Kyuubi, his paw on Deadpool's head.

'You know what your head and an egg have in common?' Came Kyuubi's deathly whisper.

'I'm the one making jokes here!' Much to Kyuubi's surprise, a sudden shock of maybe 2000 volts with 500 milliamps of current circulated Kyuubi's system. He let go…

And found himself with an Uzi lodged in his mouth.

'New power as the plot demands, my rather electrifying new feature is a shock field that can be activated at the flick of a switch. And you don't wanna know where the switch is, babe.'

Not that Kyuubi could hear a word said, as Deadpool had pressed down the trigger and was holding tightly to Kyuubi from behind as the unfortunate demon fox jolted like a rag doll with bullet after bullet pelting his insides with lead.

More infuriated then wounded, Kyuubi flushed the electricity out of his system with a burst of flames, proceeded to flip Deadpool on the floor, lifted him up, and hurled him like a javelin.

So Deadpool found himself landing head-first into yet another pile of rubble (actually, that one had a funny story behind it…).

But as everyone knows, the hardest part of Deadpool is his head. I feel sorry for the poor rubble, which was now called pebbles.

'It will take more then that to stop me!' Deadpool shouted.

'I agree.' Kyuubi replied, with rather scary calmness. 'So I think it's about time to eradicate this mall and everything within a ten mile radius. THAT should get rid of you.' Even as he said that, a fiery aura began to emit and grow.

'Woah, woah woah. I didn't want to do this, but it's time for my secret weapon!'

Slowly, as if stripping for cash, he began taking off his mask, revealing horribly scarred flesh.

Kyuubi snorted. 'Please, I've seen far wo-' He froze, the oh so rare glint of fear entered his eyes.

Deadpool's face was a mess, except for the section around his right eye which seemed strangely whole. And instead of the normal brown eye his other was, it was red. Not only that, but a in the eye was a ring with three circular holes in it, and three bars stretched out from his pupil.

'That's right mutt, I got the shame ring gun, or whatever you call it.' Deadpool grinned, pointing at the eye. 'And with it, I'm gonna kick your sorry ass back into whatever afterlife you belong to!'

Kyuubi snarled. 'You think you can even use that right.'

'Only one way to find out.' Deadpool beckoned. 'Bring it!'

Kyuubi dashed forward, claws outstretched, aiming for Deadpool's neck…

…Only to go right _through_ it, passing by as if Deadpool was an illusion.

Kyuubi paused momentarily, all Deadpool needed to turn around and strike Kyuubi with a hefty kick, plenty of proof that Deadpool wasn't an illusion.

The impact sent Kyuubi to the floor. _'But how did that hurt… He's sealed my power from access?'_

The next thing Kyuubi felt hurt was a punch to the face.

'You know, this would be great therapy for all people who see themselves as a god.' Deadpool commented, followed by another strike, this time in Kyuubi's stomach. 'Find their weakness and bash them around for a bit, takes away that irritating delusions of grandeur. Everyone knows **I'm **the best after all.'

One of Kyuubi's tails acted of its own accords and lashed out. Deadpool caught it with his left hand, yanked Kyuubi off the ground and swung him around like a flail.

'Alley-oop.' He hurled Kyuubi into a concrete pillar that had managed to remain upright, it shattered at the impact.

'Ho-how are you so strong?' Kyuubi croaked out.

'Oh, i'm not strong. You're just weak.' The eye seemed hypnotic, attracting Kyuubi's very gaze.

'WEAK!' Kyuubi thundered. With a roar, Kyuubi simply took all of his energy and released it in the form of a rapidly expanding dome which disintegrated anything it its wake. 'Maybe you can survive, but I doubt anything in a thirty mile radius will be so lucky!'

'…I can't allow that.' Deadpool said in a surprisingly deathly and serious tone. 'I'm going to do exactly what should have been done all those years ago.'

He entered the dome; the energy seemed to go through him. Like an unstoppable wraith he kept going. All Kyuubi could do was watch helplessly. As Deadpool came right up to him, and placed his palm on Kyuubi's head.

'Dead… Demon… Consuming… Soul… Seal…'

Kyuubi's eyes widened. 'WHAT!'

Deadpool smirked. 'Gotcha!' The red eye glowed.

Kyuubi snarled and the dome simply vanished, the demon simply collapsed.

'Thought that would distract you, Can't believe you thought I could use a technique from Naruto.' He stuck his tongue out at the paralysed demon. 'But if I recall, this shame ring gun allows me to control demons like you. Madara gave me a few helpful tips when I borrowed his eye, apart from the fact that surgery hurts. A moment's distraction was all it took. Now I have the power of Greyskull!'

Kyuubi tried to strike, lash out, _anything_. But he was paralysed, helpless.

Deadpool bent down so his head was level with the collapsed demon. 'Now how about you be a good little boy and go back to the world you came from. I don't give a damn how much carnage you cause, as long as I don't know anything about it.'

Giving Kyuubi one last kick for good measure, he left the demon lying there. Whistling a merry tune, he went to the still intact parts of the mall to find some nacho cheese.

Kyuubi laid there, seething in fury. How could this have happened! He had at last been free to do as he wished. Now that thing from the past was back to haunt him!'

And now, he was spent. That final blast had been cut short, but not repaid him his energy.

But it wasn't like he could get revenge. That eye was his bane, his weakness.

And quite suddenly, he felt a presence. A presence that seeped into his mind, it was malevolent, powerful, strangely alluring…

It beckoned him.

Normally, he would not allow anything to come close. Yet in his weakened state, and thirsty for vengeance, he allowed it come.

It was some sort of black sludge. Not the most appealing substance. Yet Kyuubi merely smirked. _'Well, you want to help me?'_

The sludge began covering the demon, some of it was absorbed into its very being, and the rest coated the fox like another layer of skin.

With it, power began welling in Kyuubi. Power beyond what it ever had; power that would laugh at the eye that tormented him.

This power was his, and it was time.

What had been Kyuubi smirked, flecks of the black sludge dropped from the top jaw to the bottom giving the impression of long fangs as it spoke with a cold, yet strangely happy (in the most twisted sense of the word) way. Words that came out both from the mouth and from the surrounding area it inhabited.

'The end has arrived…'

* * *

_**Hope You enjoyed it!**_

_**You think the battle with Kyuubi and Deadpool was a tad anticlimactic?**_

_**Well, that's cause the final battle is still to come...**_

_**...And It was either going to be Deadpool pounded black and blue, or Kyuubi being further humiliated, to be honest neither was very appealing.  
**_


End file.
